Hi all,
I had a medical abotion yesterday and thought i'd post what actually happened so anyone who needs advice on this can read my story.
On 27th August 08 i had a bad belly and had been having pains in my stomach for a week, so i decided to take a pregnancy test. I had done a few tests before in my time as i often worry for no reason, so just suspected it to be negative like the other tests were. I threw my jogging pants on and drove to asda and bought 2 tests then drove home and sat in the loo peeing on my test.
i rested it on the window cill and pottered around for a few minutes then to my horror 2 purple lines as clear as day appeared - i was pregnant. I was in total shock and ran into my bedroom and couldn't breathe and was shaking uncontrolabley. The first thing i did was call my boyfriend of 4 years who was away on a business trip. i told him and he was shocked but wanted to keep the baby...deep down i knew i wasn't ready to be a mother yet. At 24 i guess i would have coped, but i am in a job i hate and my life is no-where near where i want it to be. i had so much more feedom left in me, and i wanted to have a career i loved. i felt as though my life as a young girl was finished, and as selfish as it was, i wasn't ready to be a mother.
After lots of discussion with my boyfriend, my best friends and my mam, i decided it wasn't the right time for me to have a baby. It was really hard because my boyfriend took this badly and was upset. But luckily i have a very understanding lovely man who said he would stand by me through anything. my mam made me realise that although my boyfriend did have a choice and a say, ultimately the decision was mine and mine alone. I didnt want to have a baby just because somebody else wanted me to have it, even if that was my boyfriend. otherwise i could end up resenting that person or even the baby. This might be hard for someone who hasn't gone through this to understand; but those who have gone through this will.
Even though i had made my decision and been to the doctors who had referred me through the NHS for an abortion, i still swung between keeping it and the abortion every day.
As time went by i found myself feeling my belly and smiling, and not drinking at all and looking up its development on the internet all the time. i think this is only natural. Once my boyfriend even called the baby 'IT' and i got annoyed.
I eventually got an appointment at hospital a week and a half after i went to first see my doctor to confirm the pregnancy. Me and my boyfriend went along to the hospital and i was given an information leaflet about the different termination methods to read as i waited. i was then taken into a room for a scan to confirm how far along i was. i was a bit shocked by this, and found myself hoping the nurse could see the baby, which made me quite emotional. She confirmed i was 7 weeks pregnant as i thought i was, and i broke down and cried saying i needed more time. The nurse was lovely, and me and my boyfriend then left. After i left i realised just what i'd done and was gutted i'd walked out. i was just delaying the inevitable.
I rang back up 3 days later to book another appointment and unfortunately due to the nurse having an accident and being unable to hold my clinic, i couldn't get an appointment until almost 2 weeks later. By the time i was back in hospital again, i was 9 weeks pregnant.
I saw the nurse again and didnt get another scan this time. i did get a chlamydia test as standard and have a blood test incase anything went wrong during the procedure and i needed a transfusion. I was asked which kind of abortion i wanted and i chose medical abortion as there are less risks associated with it and i didn't want a general anasthetic. I was then sent home and told go go back at the weekend (Saturday) to take the first tablet.
Saturday came and i went to hospital and waited in the waiting room until i was called into another room by a nurse. In this room, the nurse gave me the Mifipristone oral tablet. i took this with a glass of water and cried. i found it quite emotional knowing that by taking this tablet i was beginning the process of ending the life of my pregnancy. This tablet works by blocking the pregnancy hormones, so the fetus stops growing and can become detached from the wall of the womb. I had to wait in hospital for an hour to make sure i wasn't sick which i wasn't, then i went home. I felt fine for the rest of the weekend and had no pain or bleeding.
Then Monday morning came. I was to go into hospital for 8am and stay for 6 - 8 hours or until i passed the pregnancy. As i was now 10 weeks pregnant, i knew it could take me longer to pass the pregnancy. I got there at 8am and was then called into my own little bed area. i was given 4 pessaries which i had to go into the toilet and insert into my vagina. Once i had done this, i had a bit of a walk about and went to the canteen for breakfast then went back to my bed. I was in bed talking to my boyfriend for about 2 hours then i started getting pains in my womb. At first they were moderate and i curled up in a ball, but then they turned severe. All the leaflets/nurses tell you this will be like a heavy/bad period. WRONG. What you experience is actual contractions - and is the most severe agony i have ever experienced in my life. i was in so much pain i couldn't lie down or stand up, i didn't know what to do with myself. i kept going to the toilet as i was so restless and i still hadn't even started bleeding yet. I went back to my bed and was sick in a paper bowl, this is a side effect of the pessaries you have had and also due to the pain. I then managed to lie down and after about an hour of this agony, it subsided and eased until it disapearred. As i hadn't passed the pregnancy, the nurse came with another 2 tablets the same as the pessaries i had, but i took these orally. i was reluctant to take these as i knew they would cause more contractions!
About 10 minutes after i took them the same agonising conractions came back. As i lay writing about in my bed, i suddenly felt a big rush of warm fluid fill my huge hospital sanitry towel. i hobbled to the loo and used a cardboard bed pan as i had been instructed to use every time i went to the toilet, earlier that morning. As i sat over the bedpan, i was shaking in pain when a huge gush of blood came out into the bedpan followed by what felt like a fleshy lump. As soon as this came out, the pain dissapeared completely. I just knew i had passed the fetus. I stupidly looked into the bedpan and saw it totally recognisable tiny mini baby. I wouldn't recommend anyone to look into the bedpan. i will be haunted by this memory for the rest of my life. I then pressed the emergency call button and the nurse came and took it away. i felt strangly numb and didn't cry, just went back to my bed. Once i got back, i started getting some pain again although not as severe as before. 20 minutes later, i rushed to the loo again and over another bedpan, passed the afterbirth which was quite big along with a LOTof blood. It took a while for this to come out but after it did i called the nurse again and she again took it away. 20 minutes later i rn along to the toilet again and passed another large clotted thing which im not sure what this was. After that, i only passed a lot of blood and a few small clots. The pain eased and now i only felt small period like cramps which was a releif.

I then lay in my hospital bed for another 2 hours until the nurse came in and told me she was satisfied i had passed everything and i could go home. I was discharged just after 3pm so was in hospital 7 hours. I had passed the pregnancy and afterbirth by 12:30, which was 4 and a half hours after having the pessarys, which is quite quick for a 10 week pregnancy.
I'm now at home with heavy bleeding and period-pain cramps. I was told to expect this for 3-4 weeks. I am also on a 7 day course of strong antibiotics to attempt to prevent any infection.

The medical termination was horrible. if you thought reading this blog was graphic and disgusting, imagine going through it. Its still early days since i had the termination (it was only yesterday) and im struggling to come to terms with it. I know in my head it was the right thing to do, but i am heart broken. If i could turn back time, i don't know if i would still choose to terminate the pregnancy. But i guess these feelings are what every woman goes through. One thing i know for sure though is that if i knew what i would have to go through i would never have chosen the medical abortion.
If i had known the amount of pain and the horrible experience of passing and being able to see the pregnancy, i would never have had this medical termination. It does have less risks than the surgical abortion which is why i am glad now its over, but the surgical abortion would have been so much quicker, easier and way less painfull. One girl in my room who had the surgical abortion was in and out and went home in 3 hours. I was there for 7 and experienced everything.

My only conselation is that although i will struggle with what i've done, i know i can now get my life where i want it and hopefully the next time i get pregnant, it is the happiest time of my life.
Me and my boyfriend are now stronger than ever.
I hope i have shed some light on what happens emotionally and physically and helped at least one person.
If anyone has any questions no matter how gross or strange, just ask me.