Description : Let me re-say something about myself, I make this blog just to remember myself of the feeling I have on one boy, there is no binding, not due when it is gonna end, but i would keep writing here about how and how much I feel for him....
I am the first child of the family, big girl with intention to make good and do good for my family.
I love to write as it make me feel better after I could releasing what is inside my brain and my thought and my heart...
The cremation was done yesterday, but we still offered food to the monks in the morning, so we could officially say that the funeral finished today.
Since sad days since Sun, Mon, Tue, and the cremation finished on Wed, it seems people can resist more of the sadness. There was laughs last night instead of crying like some days ago.
At the temple, when I was reading the farewell, I really couldn't control my voice and emotion, I didn't cry.. but my voice expressed clearly I cried inside.. unlike the family who cries out loud...
After staying at midnight since Sun, last night I again went to bed at 1am because I still couldn't be back to my normal sleeping time. Watched 2 movies because I couldn't go to sleep.
Trying to call P last night and this morning, but failed "please leave you message....". I felt sad insideand I miss P alot. I wanted to talk to him. If I die tomorrow, at least I repeat to him already how much he means to me. Seeing more of the death, make me appreciate more of life. I want to see P again, though I have no idea when... and though he still does not feel on me the same way I feel on him. Hate to live with this; the truth and what I dream of!
