Description : Let me re-say something about myself, I make this blog just to remember myself of the feeling I have on one boy, there is no binding, not due when it is gonna end, but i would keep writing here about how and how much I feel for him....
I am the first child of the family, big girl with intention to make good and do good for my family.
I love to write as it make me feel better after I could releasing what is inside my brain and my thought and my heart...
I have tried to call P during these days, but no answer!! Understand he might be busy or inconvenient to take my call....well... but now I can't get him on the line like a few months ago.
As always I call him just to talk to him, hear his voice, and because I miss him.... too much:( But later, when I call, there is no answer, the line is switched to voice mail, busy line, ............. My SMS rarely gets attention. What I want is just ... he is there, fine and safe, and could talk to me when I have sometime to call him.
It seems more and more difficult to call him now, ...... I deeply trust him because I choose to trust him, but sometimes I couldn't help to think that he wants to leave us space, ... space... big space!!!....He might still like me a lot, but... he might need space !!
It might be my problem because I have tried to contact him all the time I could, every week!!, where for P, it is not convenient! He used to tell me my calling is not annoying to him & I could call him anytime. I called him 4 times recently, no answer... Action is more clear than words.
I couldn't do anything, I do what I can do and to extend I should do. As I said before, P knows everything, and he knows I am here.
My relationship mantra :
"i know you choose to trust me... and i am a good boy. dont think differently. do not worry or give youself stress headache becuase you think too much"
*Deep breathe!, face up!, stick to the mantra!, I choose to do this because I have found out how this feeling could brighten & enhance & soften my soul..... :) *
