Sup,
Over the past few days I had been toying over and over whether I should say something to my crush manager. I kept trying to piece together what I would say if the opportunity arose. And since it never did, I took matters into my own hands.

This eve after I clocked out, I agreed to smoke a bogie with a fellow co-worker. All day I had not said or even tried to get my crush's attention. I waited until I was just about to walk out the door to comment that I was almost finished reading the book I had borrowed. I pat his arm to get his attention and then stated I that I was nearly done. He commented on the book and we discussed it for a brief moment. Because my co-worker was waiting, I walked to clock out.

As my co-worker and I stood outside smoking I noticed my crush had gone into the mens room on the lower floor. My mind then zeroed in on how to get rid of the co-workers around me fast enough to get my crush by himself. Everyone except the co-worker who was smoking with me and some other young woman, we were the only one's outside.

In my mind I was willing my co-worker to say he needed to get back upstairs. I silently smiled and suddenly became preoccupied with my cell phone as he made his way to the elevator. He had just missed one. Crap. I was hoping the elevatror going up would get him before my crush headed back to the office. Just as the damn elevator arrived, I heard the mens room door close. Craaaaaap... my crush casually walked onto the elevator before its heavy metal doors closed.

I was determined to get my feelings off my chest. I thought quickly, I decided to call his office phone. Although I was a bit nervous, I dialed his extension. He answered in a low sexy voice. I told him I had something to say to him and could he come to me. He asked if I could tell him over the phone. I told him I would prefer not to. He asked where I was. I told him. Moments later his handsome face was before me.

I told him that I was distracted at work and he was the cause. In a nutshell he said he couldn't do it at work. He said he had gone through the scenario at work before and its best not to go there. All the while he was smiling ear to ear and I could have sworn he blushed.

The lesson learned is that I was able to voice my feelings and although his reply was basically a NO, it was because of the problems having a relationship with a co-worker would bring. And not because I wasn't his type or any other reason "rejection" is the action. I actually feel good about telling him. I have set my secret free.

Perhaps if I leave my job to persue school and he is still there, I will ask him out for a drink and take things from there. Now that I've stated my feelings, I will go back to work feeling empowered and at peace.

Have you ever had a crush on someone you really shouldn't have? Tell me about it.

ciao

Sup,
Its been rather cold in my neck of the woods these past few weeks. There is nothing really to do in such obscene weather. I did go to lunch and a movie with a co-worker of mine. It happened this past Saturday. We had agreed for a smoke after work. We stood outside talking and puffing away. Early in the conversation I had asked what were his plans for the rest of the day. He said nothing really. He then corrected himself, stating he was invited to some party that he really didn't feel like going to.

Later in our frigid convo he asked what I was doing. I told him I might go to the movies. And before I could tell him that I might stay home and watching something on the net, he got excited and said that he too had been thinking about going to the theater. He asked me if I wanted to go. Since I had the number to the local theater in my phone, I told him I wanted to see what time "Medea Goes to Jail" started.

The recording indicated the next show was at 2:15. It was scarcely 1PM. I relayed this info to him. He then asked if there was a place to eat near the theater, I reminded him there was a new Afghan restaurant in the same shopping center. Unfortunately, the restaurant opened at 4p and we were both hungry. We optioned for Apple Bees. I ordered something sensible (did I spell that right?) and an alcholic beverage. I had not expected him to pay the tab, but he did.

So when we got to the theater, I offered to pay for his entrance. He accepted. During the film, he made little nudges at my arm and made sure his right thigh was cozy next to my left. Oh gosh. I wanted to make sure I didn't play up any of his gestures to ensure I didn't give any signals that I was interested.

Not that this guy is nice. He's West Indian and pretty cool. Not quite my type. If gals and guys could really be friends without the guy being femme, then this guy would make for a good friend. Afterall, I did enjoy myself. After the theater we stopped by Mc D's for sweet tea. I was thirsty and wanted the best bang for my buck.

There is another admirer at work who contstantly flirts, but thats all there is to it. If I took him seriously, I'm sure there would be a roll in the hay and thats it. I am still dizzy about the manager. I have read so many articles on dating the boss, or how to tell if a guy is flirting. They pretty much say the same thing. I am still rather confused. I want to just come out with it... invite him for a drink. Something light and not too committed. Just in case we have nothing to talk about. But I want to make sure I am not reading him wrong.

This eve, we work together. Perhaps I can engage him in a convo. Wish me well!


ciao

Sup,
Yesterday (Tuesday), I saw my crush manager and he really hadn't said anything to me. I optioned to write him a little note that said, swagger is like talent, either you have it or you don't. I think he laughed at that. Later that day, as we were getting ready to leave. My crush was waiting by the door. I was headed out the door, but there was a lady trying to exit ahead of me. For some reason she wasn't getting exiting.

I commented she was holding up the process. Just as I had finished that statement someone had gripped up the left sleeve of my coat. I turned to see who had done it... it was my crush. He didn't say anything... just grabbed my coat and had stopped as if nothing happened.

He sort of caught me off guard because, one, I wasn't expecting it. And two, because he didn't say anything after he did it. Since i've been rather clueless on some of techniques guys use for flirting these days, I went home and did some research.

I enlisted some advice from people I trust and then turned to the internet. I discovered this guy could be playing a psychological game called Rapo (look it up if you're not familiar with the term). Or he could really be interested. Some of the indicators that a guy is into you are behaviors my crush has exhibited towards me. Nicknames, being playful, watching my lips when I talk (almost all the time), etc.

So to push things a little further, today at work (Wednesday), I was waiting for an opportunity to walk over to him and ask why he grabbed me arm, or why didn't he grab both, or something like that. That opportunity didn't come when I wanted, so I wrote him a note instead. I went with, next time grab both arms, or something like that.

My crush didn't say anything. I began to get a little panicky, because maybe I was reading his signals wrong. Suppose I had wrote something inappropriate. Uh oh! That conclusion went partially out of the window, when no one pulled me aside and questioned me about the note.

The confusing thing is... my crush didn't reply or seemingly didn't physically give any indication my letter had any affect on him. Could he have not understood what I meant? Was he playing things cool? Was he playing Rapo and now the game is over? Grr, I wish this wasn't so difficult to understand.

Any suggestion?

ciao

Sup,
Well today was the start of a new work week. I fell right in step with the daily work grind as soon as I stepped in the building. I reached the floor to my office. To my dissapointment, my crush manager did not appear to have been at work.

I found myself looking toward his seat imagining he was there. I know its sounds crazy, but its true. I took my focus off of him and got on a phone call. Just as I was hanging up, I saw a familiar figure walk down the isle, sliding off a camel colored coat. I looked up to take a look at the person's face. Sure enough it was my new object of affection.

I took a moment to get a full view of him. Delicious! I couldn't spend all afternoon wooing over him. He was leaving at 5p. I was going to tell him a smidget of how I felt about him. So when I saw him put his coat on, I locked my computer and walked out the office. I even missed the first elevator hoping he would be along.

I knew he had left the office, but then I heard a familiar voice... it wasn't his. Another co-worker was headed downstairs. Ha, but that didn't stop him from saying my name (in full). Ah, there was so much I wanted to say, but that chick got on the elevator with us.

My whole body was reacting to being so close to him. By the time I got off the elevator, I needed some air. This man had me feeling dizzy. The door he went out of was in the opposite direction of the door I had to go out of. Grrr. I may try to say something to him tomorrow since we work similiar hours. Wish me well!

ciao

Sup,
I am so peeved right now. I wrote a nice blog entry and I wanted to upload a pic. Would you believe everything I typed was erased?!!!! Let me run things down. John's seperated spouse called me and wanted to know if I was sleeping with him, had I been to her home, did I know where she lived, etc. I answered her questiosn politetly. She remained cordial as well.

Later I text him and asked what was that shit all about. He apologized. I told him we have got to be friends. I was not going to deal with any drama b.s. He aplogized and said he knows he needs to get things straightened out. At this point folks, I'm not even sure if I would to take things any further, even if he gots things resolved with her. I like to live my life drama free.

Today I saw my crush. In case you've never read, I have am attracted to a manager who works at my job. I haven't seen him in over a week. He didn't speak to me today, but croseed my path a few times. I am undecided if I should say anything because I want to make sure the clues I think I see are not all in my head. I have also considered he may not want to be overt in case he things the same thing. Also, given his position in the company, he may want to keep his cool in case he is mistaken about my feelings.

Finally, I wanted to wish everyone a beautiful Valentine's Day. Be sure do to something special for you!

ciao