So after all this time you would think I would know better. I mean ME, and all the things I know, streetly wise I would say, but even I find myself in this situation and dont know where to go.
When I was young I thought things would always end on a smile,like when I was on stage. Gene Kelly would tap dance into my front room and I would floeat off with him looking a bit like Cid Crisse. Then when I was 17 my dad died and that was the end of dreaming. When I was 19 I starting going round with this bloke. HE was a nasty piece of work, beating me and demanding and taking everything as if it all belonged to him - yes I mean my things and my body too. Anyway to cut a long story short I have met them all. the loosers and bums of this world. Dont get me wrong some of them were worth meeting, but the others just rip you off. And I mean your emotions are what they pilfer the most. I had a miscarrige while my boyfriend had an orgy, life is like that often for me I find. the ones who do the harm are away having a grand time while I pick up the mess they have left. Anyway this isn't about the past, I try to leave it somewhere else. I am now a very successfull career woman, at the almost top of her profession, and I just wanted to tell you about the here and now. As I said I thought I knew a bit about things. So why is it I find myself in the wrong relationship again? I mean I was happy on my own, I did not go out and look for someone, and it all felt so good, so why am I here waiting for that spark to come back, waiting for a look, or a touch which will make me feel things are on the straight,let alone the up? Why are we in seperate rooms? Why is there no man to hold me and give me the pleasure I long for, oh wait he is here just not giving me what I need! Why is my friend having yet another baby with her oh so loving husband while I remain without even one from my "boyfriend" who wont commit to being my husband? I have to get going he will want his tea soon and I need to get that on the table or there will be more moods and long silences. Eli
