...this morning and I'm 13st 9, lost 2lbs since yesterday, which i should be thankful for, BUT I really want the figures to be the other way round.
I live with an outwardly fine upstanding teenager who within the four walls of the home is rude abusive selfish and ungrateful and makes me feel like I'm the victim of a playground bully.
True he didn't ask to be brought into the world but from day one I gave up everything and have devoted every day of his life to bringing him up and making sure he becomes a worthwhile human being who is loved and wanted and gives back as much as he is given.
Unfortunately somewhere along the way he seems to have forgot the respect I've taught him for everyone else. I've been assaulted, swore at and made to feel like I'm nothing more than a piece of faeces. I'm strict but his abuse knows no bounds.
If people in the outside world knew how he treated me they'd be appalled but no one is interested in helping and at the end of the day it will all come back to the fact that I'm a single mother and it's all my fault for not having a male role model in the home.
Ialways hoped that I could find someone who would love us both but I decided to set an example and not be one of those women who had a succession of men trawling in and out of her life. And the sparse trickle of men that I have met (you wouldn't need half the fingers on one hand to count) have been there have proved to be untrustworthy so I gave up and went into my shell (which is where I am now).
Don't feel sorry for me because in the great scheme of things I'm just one person going through the same rubbish on just another day.
13st 11 which is the same as yesterday. Today I feel I could go all day without eating but yesterday my thoughts were constantly interrupted by the thought "what can I eat next". Fluctations in blood sugar and hormone levels are a dangerous combination when you're constantly trying to lose weight.
myself. The scales say 13st 13.5lbs today, so back to the green tea at least five times a day. I had savoury cravings again yesterday which were out of control and last night I had two sandwiches made out of four slices of crusts away (45 cal a slice) with cucumber, lite mayonnaise & butter on each, with a packet of Seabrooks salt & vinegar crisps. How gross & replusive is that; I'm totally ashamed. Get your act together (that's me talking to myself and kicking myself in the shins).
up, weighed 13st 11 this morning but I had a day yesterday where cravings for savoury food took over and I ate all the wrong things. Not a lot else to say except I'm sure the scales will read worse tomorrow, feeling fat and I am.
weigh 13st 9 so 1lb heavier than when I went away & considering all the walking ( miles and miles of it) I did the scales have gone in the wrong direction. I had poached egg on a slice of wholemeal every morning, a wholemeal salad sandwich for lunch & a prawn salad for dinner every night so why the gain? Had to buy some size 18 jeans and trousers and xl tops which was actually quite distressing but I have to continue to try, even though I will probably have days when I want to give up. At this weight I can't see a happy future but if I lose weight I know I have a chance of being happy again.
