had to go to my GP for an injection into my shoulderprior to having more physio for r.capsulitis. I was dreading it because when I worked for my GP I weighed less and I was dreading everyone seeing me and judging me. But to my delight I actually ended up chatting to my Gp about how I feel about myself and she kindly agreed to see me once a month and weigh me, one to help me get a grip and things and two so I'll actually have to go out of the house.
You see if I don't have a reason to go out I stay in so consequently for some considerable time I basically go to work and the rest of the time I literally never step foot outside of the front door from one week to the next. I can go days without speaking to anyone and feel like one of the elderly, who live on their own and never see a living soul from one week to the next. The only difference is with me I'm only 41, have been taken for anything from 28 to 34, have been told I've got so much going for me, but no matter what anyone says I just shut myself away, because it's safer than going out and feeling persecuted.
But the talk to my doctor and today the physio at work, who has talked me into going into the gym with her at work, I feel a glimmer of hope. I've even started doing my hair again instead of just tying it back and thinking I can't be bothered.
...what I weigh not having been on the scales since the last blog entry here. But I don't feel uncomfortable having said when I go to the wardrobe to see if anything fits me for the holidays soon, I except I shall feel rather differently. Watch this space, I may weigh in tomorrow....Oh my son is abusive to me but no one else would know and Ihave totally had enough of peopletelling me "it's just a phase" "he'll grow out of it" "he's testing boundaries" blah blah blah. No man not even my own son will ever treat me like a piece of cr*p and get away with it again without feeling my wrath.
I still weigh 13 6.5lbs and I'm still in a positive frame of mind. It's amazing what a new hair style can do for the confidence and it didn't even involve having anything cut off. I got an African Butterfly hair comb with faux extentions on either comb and after a bit of fiddling about tad-ah a new uppy hair style and it looks amazing! Still staying with the yoghurt, soup & salad routine & I feel miles better for sticking to my guns. Progress may be slow but I'd now rather it be like this than fail again.
