Description : Let me re-say something about myself, I make this blog just to remember myself of the feeling I have on one boy, there is no binding, not due when it is gonna end, but i would keep writing here about how and how much I feel for him....
I am the first child of the family, big girl with intention to make good and do good for my family.
I love to write as it make me feel better after I could releasing what is inside my brain and my thought and my heart...
I fully know that my feeling on one boy living so far away is never less... though I don’t understand how that can be, I know and pleased to let it go like this. When seeing intention and dedication of P, plus spending some time with him, I feel and fully believe that he could go far.... whether higher or better... this boy would go so far. I trust him as a man, but it does not mean that I never realize that this man has his dream & future. It’s me who would stay still & here at where I am, seeing him walking toward his dream.
I know the relationship I have dedicated to is nothing but enjoying this “sunshine in my day” & “a warm in my winter day”. I choose to live with it though I fully know, it is only daytime I meet this nice sunshine and only in winter that I would have this warm.
Though a feeling I have on P is too strong and too hot for me to handle, and though it could cause pain at my heart sometimes, I still find happiness in it, and an amazing warm & tender feeling that I can’t remember I have found it before.
It is always amazing and a miracle to me all the time thinking about the feeling I have ... it is very much special too..Because it is the feeling I want to “give”, not the feeling to “get” ... P used to say if I feel that I fall for him, I can tell him though he would be different or take longer to fall, but ... I still believe I ‘d better not do so. If you fall for someone and want to tell him, the answer/ feedback would be only “YES” and “NO”, it can’t be the middle. Whether you accept or softly refuse that feeling, the answer is expected. As I write here in this blog, my feeling is clear to me and to him. And I know too that P is not ready to say "YES" or "NO" now (even might be not ready to say anything) though I still believe he would always be my good boy and nice to me, his answer would not be the answer I want to know....
Why to tell him when he knows already how I feel on him?? Better stay like this than saying something and hearing something that would .... Hurt ! I am happy as it is, I have someone to dream about, care for, think of, and even being naughty with. And I choose to do it, my own will, .. I want to live with this feeling as long as I can...I mean it!
"Im Tryna Play Cool Actin Like What U Dont Phase Me ( Dont Phase Me) Mean While Im Sittin At Home All Alone Tryna Keep My Self From Goin Crazy When Im In The House When I Think About When I See You Out What I Hear About I Want My Baby Back And I Thought That It'll Be Easy But Its Hard For Me To Let You Go Baby Dont (Go) Baby Dont (Go) Baby Dont (Go) Baby Dont (Go) "
I know I start to be stupid carrying in my bag always "Panda", I do so just to make myself feel good all the time looking at it!
Somtimes I put too much stuff in my bag, but one thing for sure, I have to find tiny space for this "Panda"!!
When I see the "Panda", it does remind me that "Poohbear" has been treated well too... "Poohbear" is very much happy to be there on the other side of the world, while "Panda" always brings me smile and happiness too.
I start to think like this for about 2 months, hope I don't get worse :).. "phood len!" As always, I know what I have done & thought of in the past some months.... The weather is now cold, and I do need this warm feeling to save my soul.
The Loikrathong Day is coming !!!, and this year it falls on this Sat. 24 !!
"“Loi Krathong” is traditionally performed on the full moon night of the twelfth lunar month, which usually falls on some day in November. The floating of a ‘Krathong' – a banana–leaf cup – is intended to float away ill fortune as well as to express apologies to Khongkha or Ganga, the River Goddess. Some believe that the ritual is meant to worship the Buddha's footprint on the bank of the Narmada River, while others say that it is to pay respect to Phra Uppakhut, one of the Lord Buddha's great disciples"
Besides expressing apologies to the river, and float away bad fortune, Loikrathong is one of the sweetest day (just like Valentine's Day for Thai). It is the chance for young lover (even old ones) to "loikrathong" (to float the Krathong into the river or lake) together. See! in the night, krathong with candle, full moon, thai style dress, watching the lights in the river.... sooooo sweet!!
"I wish you were here with me... not on the beach in Hawaii, but at the village lake and "loikrathong with me" :)))) Miss youuuu!
*Remark : to Lola, girl I can't add a comment into your blog, don't know why. Anyway, Happy Loikrathong to you! Hey, you are behind me now, update your blog and share with us all a good day in your life"!
Hum... well, I totally accept that P is right!. But not because his body that keeps me thinking of him, there are more, i.e. his voice, laugh, smile, I love to see him cutting his own hair. Strange, but cute!
And to listen to him talking about events & people around, his manner & behaviour when he is curious to know new things, ...Yes, I want you body! ... and your spirit too!
PS. I don't have new pix of P, perhaps I should put mine! :)...
